Friday, September 16, 2011

Keith Ablow vs. Chaz Bono...

This years Dancing With Ths Stars Premiere is just 3 days away..Will you watch?  I have to be honest , while I do like to watch the b-list actors and actress get up and shake their groove thang with the elegant "pros" of DWTS, I have only rarely tuned in.  What generally draws me to this show is the fact that they like to extort or expose controversy and hey, I'm only human, I dig it.  When Bachelor dumpee,Melissa Rycroft, debuted only days after being dumped on National TV...I watched.  When Kate Gosselin, aka, Mom of the Year, showed up after a very tumultuous and public split with husband, John...I watched.  The same is true this season only I am not watching people who have subjected themselves  to public scrutiny for the sake of fame, I am watching to see history made.

History is a difficult monster to tread beyond...I mean it is the same until it isn't anymore.  As with any change in the norm, ridicule will come, people will speculate and insults may fly.  Can you imagine at one time a black person was considered dangerous of infecting our society..they had to use different facilities from white men and were publicly humiliated and prosecuted if they ever stepped out of line with the all-white police.  Imagine being THE one who stood on the front lines and gave a face to the reality of change.  This is what I believe Chaz is trying to do.  She is doing harm to no one as she isn't invading our homes and literally poisoning our innocent youth.  Parents, wake up.  Your children aren't going to stay sheltered from everything.  If they have the desire to discover the world, they will.  Hello-I was VERY sheltered.

Being Transgender is an issue that men and women alike have suffered with.  This unique orientation transcends class and hits a nerve with the fundamentals of our physical and mental composition.  I do not personally have experience with any person who is transgender but I sympathize deeply (for the same reason I sympathize with the gay and lesbian community)because these are some of the most attacked and ridiculed and misunderstood individuals living today.  They are forced many times to do things that are seemly outrageous to say "Hey, I'm here and somethings different about me."  I personally applaud Chaz because he is being true to who HE is.  HE is saying "I'm not a girl, get over it" to all those he loves and now is taking this to the national platform.  I hope he kicks ass.  I hope he feels satisfied and proud with his decision to continue on in the face of persecution.

My question will always be to those of you who have religious reasons for your protest of the LGBT community...When did you decide who and what you were going to be?  Did you decide not to be gay?  Not to be transgender?  Why then do you assume that these men and women did?
I hope everyone watches and cheers loudly for Chaz...He certainly deserves a place in this world and personally I was more afraid of letting my kids watch Heather Mills..I mean the looming fear that her leg might fly off was at times more than I could bear.  No mean comments please..I still watched and I liked her as a performer.  It scared me that's all:)

This is the statement made by Keith Ablow and a video is shown below.

Referring to Bono's presence on the show as "toxic," the psychiatrist has written an editorial for Fox News which reads:
I advise parents to not allow their children to watch the episodes in which Chaz appears.
The last thing vulnerable children and adolescents need, as they wrestle with the normal process of establishing their identities, is to watch a captive crowd in a studio audience applaud on cue for someone whose search for an identity culminated with the removal of her breasts, the injection of steroids and, perhaps one day soon, the fashioning of a make-shift phallus to replace her vagina.
Chaz Bono should not be applauded for asserting she is a man (and goes about trying to look like one) any more than a woman who believes she will be happier without arms, has them removed and then continues to assert that she was right all along—her self-concept was that of a double amputee. Now, all is well.
Chaz Bono should not be applauded any more than someone who, tragically, believes that his species, rather than gender, is what is amiss and asks a plastic surgeon to build him a tail of flesh harvested from his abdomen. If only a plastic surgeon would acquiesce, all would be well.
In the end, Dr. Ablow believes Chaz should be "empathized with" and treated with "dignity," just not applauded.  (This statement is taken from the link below.)

Peace out-

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

"You say it best..."

"...when you say nothing at all."  What a lovely song.  What a lovely singer.  What a lovely thought!  It seems to me that the "right wingers" are non stop talking..spewing thoughts and opinions into the stratosphere at record speed.  My ears can hardly keep up.  Every morning I wake and listen as pastors and conservative media are off to the proverbial races and ready to engage in spiritual warfare with the wrongdoers such as myself.  While I applaud them for their apparent committedness to "The Faith", I also can't help but reflect on a few men in times past who actually "got 'er done" by simply remaining silent or of very few words.

Gandhi, Jesus and Buddha...All of these sought serenity and peace.  Even though many will misunderstand Jesus' words in Matthew 10, "I did not come to bring Peace..."   Jesus stated later in John 14 "Peace I leave with you..."  Confusing, I know...
Gandhi neither picked up a sword of iron nor of his tongue.  He refused to live in a way that was harmful or shameful to others.  He lived his life non-violently and changed his world.
Buddha taught that by speaking kind and helpful words, we are respected and trusted by everyone.
What do present day Christian/family advocates have in common with these men???  Ahem..nothing? (I'm ducking in my room to avoid the tomatoes and such)

While These men did do some talking, their lives are what made such a drastic impression on our lives.  Why is it then that so many men and women, sharing the same faith as Jesus, do so much talking?  Here are some examples from my city and some surrounding.
get a rope...

..unless you pray this simple prayer..then all is right and God now loves you.

I mean ...if the Bible says so..

okay, they're nutty but the rest of the Christians REALLY do hear from God.

Man, O man..good strategy, huh?  Can anyone tell me that this is what Jesus of the Bible intended when he said go and make disciples? I mean if this doesn't get those sinners maybe this will

hey tickets to Heaven??  Cool.

Now for one I agree with...

I am nearly certain this is Acronym for something "really special"

My point with all of this is really where is the love?  The love?  The love?  Excuse me..Black Eyed Peas moment.  Tell me how any of this does anybody any good?  At the very best these signs provide "assurance" for all of those (maybe you) who are the lucky, special, chosen and included ones.  At the worst, though, these signs are degrading to those of different faiths...("you'll be the barbeque.") and promote an attitude of arrogance and false self assurance.  Since when did faith become something factual?  I mean the definition is a strong feeling based spiritual apprehension and not proof.  The "insider" is left to make a choice after being pumped full of this &%#@...Be sure and go to Heaven (the real goal) or doubt even the tiniest amount and go to Hell.. I'm not just talking about an afterlife of hell but a present tense hell,on earth.  The one you encounter when you is an ousting leaving you alone... an abandoned..stranded...dismayed...left to go to another church...or not.
Many of you have mentioned that you enjoy this blog and my writing even though you do not hold the same opinion as I do..That is fine.  I am in no way attempting to pull you from whom and what you love and bring you to the dark side..I want you to evaluate though who really is on the dark side?  You see, I don't hold signs (many of you do not either) saying "Turn or burn" nor do I say to strangers while invading their homes on an evangelical run "Do you know where you're gonna go when you die?"  The traits most respected in the men above are their peace, acceptance and presence in this world.  They had an awareness of who they were and why they were here on this earth.  Say what you want about Jesus..we only have 3 years of the 33 in non-original and non-inerrant text...
                                                              MY BEEF...
Is it really necessary to advertise your agenda on the radio by mocking lesbians?  To stand on a corner with a megaphone and shout "turn or burn"?  Is it really going to affect your child if he can't read the 10 commandments on the wall of his school?  I get that we all have things we feel like fighting for..I DO TOO!  But how we fight may make all the difference.  Please AFR, AFA, James Dobson...You don't have to pick a fight with every classmate that you don't agree with.  Is it not your goal to be "one with God"?'re missing him..he just left (if he's there)...he went to go hang out where you are forbidding yourselves to go..
Quit being so concerned with your afterlife and get concerned instead with this one.  Save a hungry child.  Find a humanitarian cause.  Recycle but for the love of your god...quiet down and live in peace.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

The one about The Home Depot

First of all thanks for all your kind words..Even those of you who disagree with me did so with kindness.  The issue I want to expose today is one that has been frustrating me long before this year...Any of you remember back in 1997 a boycott..Southern Baptist take on "The Tragic Kingdom"??  I do and quite honestly I began to feel the deep rumblings of equality rising even then.  I was a Junior in High School, far from watching Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast and The Little Mermaid, but the kids I babysat did...The SBC (southern baptist convention) called for yet another boycott...burn your Disney videos, pull princess themed rooms from your daughters and take the Mickey Mouse Pillowcase from your sons...See link for info on the goals of the boycott and please note the result hoped for..the SBC hardly brought good attention to its cause but rather fanned the flame of the American people to speak out for American/Human rights and equality.

So back to today..The American family association has unleashed all its efforts and it speaking, yelling, all but threatening its listeners to stand up for their faith...boycott the home depot.

One of the ads on our local Family Talk radio station closes its program with "Go out, love God, live clean, help your neighbor, be handy around the house...just don't buy your tools at The Home Depot."  First of all , I do this to myself..I torture myself because I tune in regularly to hear all of the slander/false teachings that are purported by hosts such as Bryan Fischer and Matt Friedman.  I can't help myself but like a moth to flame, I go in, hoping to find kindness and co-existence..You know the "Do unto others" mentality... but NO..I hear hatred and mockery of people believed to be created by their same creator (not my beliefs btw)..These loving christians still wage war in the same way that the old testament only not with weapons made of steel..they use their mouths to spew hate all over a listening audience and this audience is saying "AMEN".  GAG ME!!!

I appreciate those of you who are true believers of any faith as I believe they can serve a feeding the hungry, developing a community for those who are displaced, developing peace...but people Christianity today is doing NO SUCH fact Christianity has been behind Slavery, deportation and the dehumanization of the LGBT community.  NOT what Jesus would do.

I personally adhere to no faith practice.  I have not cracked open a Bible (except in my New Testament college class) in 1 1/2 years.  I will tell you this though, I admire any man who would take great strides to bring peace with out have dinner with the displaced and the be seen with the most hated tax collector and prostitute.  NEVER is Jesus reported saying, "Walk down a different road so you don't have to walk where the hookers don't want them to get the wrong idea".  Never did he encourage people to do anything that caused separatism...He loved everyone and if anything, he loved the ones most highly criticized by the church the most...I am not a Christian and for the sake of sounding like one I must move on..My point..not only would  Jesus not be boycotting The Home Depot..he would be proudly seen buying there just to make you question yourself..your motives.  Is it God you are hearing or is it the conservative pastor or churchman, manipulating the Bible, convincing you to follow him.  I digress...

These are the photos that got everyone so riled up...Is there any nudity here??  You know what is offensive to me?  This is a free country promising to protect each man and woman while offering them freedom of speech and religion...These people were simple celebrating the pride they feel to be what??  Gay?  I don't think so..I believe they were celebrating the freedom to be themselves.  We as heterosexuals don't know the obstacles many of these men and women have had to hurdle in order to march publicly and identify themselves as gay...How many of us would be proudly marching had we overcome cancer or a great tragedy?  To many this is a culmination of a life's work..remember they were un-allowed by society, family members and friends to be who they truly were and it wasn't until the decidedly awkward "coming out" that they began their journey into freedom in this "Christian" nation.
What a bitch..the religion that says God creates us all..didn't make a mistake, blah, blah..has no other way of explaining this "plague of gay" so in an effort to take speculation off of god and keep his reputation squeeky clean, religion blames the person..saying he/she chose to be gay..chose to be an abomination to god..chose to be an outsider...This is something I have never been able to swallow.  If I did believe in a god, I would promptly hate him for this very reason.

Please join me in taking a non-violent, non-slanderous stand for all who are persecuted by the conservative Christian...What if tomorrow, there was a new super power and your very identity was called into question..the way you practice in your life was suddenly wrong, vile and unacceptable...I am working on the non-slanderous part of this request and I admit it is a struggle..I too have been deeply hurt by the very religious..exiled from my home with 3 young children because the very idea of me loving people, no matter their orientation, was to them detestable.  I promise I am not seeking to destroy religion but I want to work out these hurts I have felt the only way I know how..I choose to write and be proactive..not to let hurt fester inside of me.

The great Martin Luther King Jr. said this "War is a poor chisel for carving out a peaceful tomorrow".  American Family radio and many with them are waging war against the what end are they striving?

Thursday, September 8, 2011


 I want to take some time to introduce you to myself...not just Melissa, the surrogate, but ME!  I was born and raised in the armpit of this world and smack dab in the middle of the most religulous town EVER...(spelling intended)  I grew up with two loving parents and a cooperative sister and actually had a pretty hell of a good life.  There was no drama in my family except  for the occasional visits from our Unitarian and Atheist family members...(they were basically demonic as far as my family was concerned).  As a child, I was always so quick to evangelize know spread the love of Jesus...and then after they left, I would fall to my knees and beg God not to let them rest tonight until there hearts were turned to Him...Some of my newly acquired friends may be thinking "Holy, shit!!!  You were like THAT??"  But many of you knew me as THAT girl.  I sang songs about Jesus from the time I could talk..I witnessed to cashiers at our local supermarket...I hid beer (because it was evil and would send ya to hell) from my uncle in hopes that in doing so I  would bring him to salvation.  I sang in the church choir, went to Christian school and eventually into the ministry with my (then) very Christian husband.  That is a part of me foundation and in a very small way I am thankful to have had it.  I developed a very strong sense of self and was loved and cared for by many but then I started to think...

Christianity is good for Christians but what about everyone else???  I went on a trip to the Philippines and saw
people impoverished..starving..yet they were crying out, performing rituals and prayers in an effort to get God to hear them...comfort them from pain. He didn't.   I left that country a different woman.  I began with questions such as "If there is a God, why does he seem to love Americans more that Philippinos?"  "Why do I live in comfort and assurance and they do not?"  "Who are we trying to bring these people to?"  "They seem perfectly content with their faith, what makes mine superior or right?"  I asked and asked and asked. questions that eventually led to my ultimate un-doing.  More on that later.

I had been married around 3-4 years and deeply active as an associate pastors wife when I looked at Shane and said "Do you remember choosing to be straight?"   At this time I had never been around ANY liberal minds whatsoever..I was the most liberal person I knew:))  Shane resisted (knowing what I was getting at) and said no.  I asked more and more questions and as my kids got older I began to evaluate their changes to see just when IT happened...I saw nothing.  James Dobson was loudly furthering his "Focus on the Family"  campaign all over the world.  He preached messages like this:  "Homosexuals are not monogamous. They want to destroy the institution of marriage. It will destroy marriage. It will destroy the Earth." and "allowing same-sex marriage in the United States would lead to "group marriage," "marriage between daddies and little girls," or "marriage between a man and his donkey"

People all around me were eating this shit up!!!  Teaching it in the church Sunday School rooms..posting it on billboards..blaring it all over "family friendly radio"  It was at this point I began to think something was wrong with me.  Was I a pervert?  Was I just being rebellious?  No one would understand so I kept gay friendly feelings between Shane and I.  A few years later I began to grow more and more weary of this church life...I begged Shane on many numerous occasions to get me out of this life.  I felt like I had lost every single part of my identity to this religion and I was sick of it.  I was so desperate to act outside of myself I became a surrogate..while I wanted very much to carry for a gay man, we decided it would be best not to ruffle any feathers of our church members as we were still their pastor/wife...So I didn't..I chose a straight couple..fell in love with them and the idea and then I got an e-mail from a church member "Pastor and Missy, because we feel like you are being unequally yoked with an organization of homosexuals, we feel it in our best interest to leave your church..We do not want to be part of the judgement you will receive for participating in these ungodly affairs."  The entire town turned on day they loved us, they were kind, polite Christians and the next day they were homophobic, judgmental busy bodies seeking to ruin my life while humiliating me and "outing" me as pro-gay...  

There is a lot more that happened but this is getting really long.  I have met some of the most amazing people in the last year and a half of my life.  Some are gay but most are surrogates and free thinking women who have actively lived out kindness in ways I never saw it lived out before.  They are advocates for human rights...the right to live however you goddamn well please.  This has become what defines me.  It is my mission to end the "Tyranny of Christianity" in this so called free country.  I watch as LGBT people are treated as if they have some sort of illness they can be cured of...I listened today as the AFA set out to have Chaz Bono removed from dancing with the stars because by his presence he is causing harm to the children watching...they called him a "sinner" and offered him Christian counselling should he ever desire to change...I sat in my car with tears running down my face, hoping that my kids will never have to know this hatred.  I never knew racism but my grandparents did...people have not changed..the focus simply has.  The homosexual community is being verbally abused and slandered and accused of being unnatural...I tell you nothing would be more unnatural than forcing yourself to be in a relationship because the world wants you to...

I feel it my responsibility to be the change I want to see in the world (thank you Ghandi) and I have to start somewhere..How about the American Family Association..Focus on the Family and Westborough Baptist Church???  Yeah, that'll be a good start.

Thanks for listening to my very long and not so cohesive ramblings...
More tomorrow on the Home Depot and other ramblings from The American Family Association...